one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have already put on my inside pants.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
