Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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