I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Yo dont text me then not text me
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
