this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
