Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
