Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
