i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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