dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
