I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
