I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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