I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
