I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize