i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
