It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
