I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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