WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
