There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
