sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize