Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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