She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
