i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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