the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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