You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
