when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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