it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I wish you could order shots online.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
