mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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