When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
