I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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