good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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