Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize