some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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