oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
