bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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