Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
