im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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