Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I just threw up on my dentist
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
