Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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