She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
