You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
