After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
