dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
