when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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