Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
