oh god the rape fog is back!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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