Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
