Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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