i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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