So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
