Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
