It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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