You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
