I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
