He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
