Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize