hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
