Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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