If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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