She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
