The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize