I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
