I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
