it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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