I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
