I'm so fucking centered right now
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
MIDGETS
????
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
