I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She told me I should be a condom model.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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