the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
