so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
