She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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