Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
