Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
