Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize