woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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