There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I think my fart just growled at me.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
